Posts Tagged ‘inspiration’

This week in my meeting I hit 9st 7.5lbs and decided to change onto the maintenance plan. Essentially this means adding 6PP to your daily allowance but WW recommend doing it in stages so you don’t shock your body too much. (I have no idea whether this is very scientific. Doesn’t sound it, does it?!) At any rate, this week I’ve moved from 26PP to 29PP dailies. I still get my 49 weeklies too. The trouble with the increase is that because I’ve got used to cooking in a certain way, it’s actually easier to add a chocolate bar than to add healthy food. For instance, yesterday I realised that the omelette I was making DH and I for tea was going to be very heavy on veg and a bit light on eggs, because I was using up mushrooms and courgettes that needed to be eaten. It took about a minute of going ‘Hm, I wonder whether this is going to hold together in the pan or whether I’d better turn it into scrambled eggs with vegetables’ before I realised I had the points available to just add another egg and make it a slightly bigger meal. Not rocket science! Still, it’ll be interesting to see how I get on at next week’s weigh in. Until you find the right level of daily PPs for your body your weight can fluctuate quite a lot I believe, so I’m prepared for a bumpy ride for the next few weeks. My main concern is that as I eat all my weeklies anyway (which lots of people don’t do) and I’ve lost 1.5-2lbs a week most weeks, 32PP daily might not actually be enough to stop the weight loss. Most people in my meeting lost 0.5-1lb a week on 26PP and only a few weeklies so I’m already eating more and losing more weight than them. Hopefully I can figure out the right level for me soon.

On a very cheesy note, I found a YouTube video of a Weight Watcher who lost over 6 stone in just over a year. YouTube is full of these kinds of videos and they inevitably have a sound track of M People (as this one does!) but this one is particularly good in terms of before and after pictures. It’s helpful to watch because when I look in the mirror I don’t really see much of a difference. I know that sounds crazy and objectively I know I’ve lost almost 4.5 stone and gone from a size 16/18 to 10 so, of course, I know my body’s changed. But the mindset of ‘I’m fat,’ ‘there’s no point in trying that on because it won’t fit,’ ‘let me see whether they have it in a large’ etc still prevails and is hard to shake. Even though the lady in the video isn’t me (and even though she’s lost a lot more weight than me) it’s nice to see the change on someone else’s body and think maybe other people can see it on mine.

M People lady

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I’ve just started reading The Beck Diet Solution Weight Loss Workbook which isn’t actually a diet plan but a self help book about using the principles of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to successfully lose weight and then maintain a healthy weight. The reason for this is that I, like many, many other weight watchers, have done this whole diet malarkey before. I lost a good couple of stone before I got married and felt brilliant, but it was probably only two or three months before I started regaining the weight. I think the problem was that at my healthy weight I felt so great that I stopped thinking it was important to be careful, and very quickly picked up old and new bad habits. That, plus the stress of moving jobs and having a miscarriage took me in 3 short years to the start of this blog and obesity. I’m very aware this time round that I need to permanently change my way of thinking about food. I don’t want to obsess, and I don’t want to be on a diet for the rest of my life, but I do want to be mindful of what is and isn’t healthy and I do want to keep a certain moderation about my eating habits-forever. This might sound a bit miserable but I’m really not saying I’m never going to eat cake again, just that in a year, or five years, or twenty years, I want to be able to enjoy a slice of cake or a glass of wine and then stop there. I don’t want to go back to eating mindlessly and I don’t want to go back to treating my body like crap. I also don’t want DD to ever see me on a diet, which is why it’s so important for me to get my head around all this before she becomes aware of such things as body image.

One of the first things the Beck Diet Solution asks you to do is make a list of all the reasons you want to be slim and healthy, so I thought I’d share my list here. Some of these reasons are suggestions in the book and some are my own.

Here goes…

I’ll look better and be more attractive to DH.
I’ll have more confidence.
I’ll be able to wear clothes I like.
I’ll be able to buy new underwear!
I’ll feel happier when I look in the mirror.
I’ll feel happier in a swimming costume.
I’ll get more compliments. (Not proud of this one.)
I’ll be less at risk of developing Type 2 Diabetes.
I’ll feel better physically.
I’ll have more stamina.
I’ll have more energy.
I’ll make a better first impression on people.
I’ll be able to keep up with DD as she gets more active.
I’ll be less inhibited about my body.
I’ll feel in control.
I’ll feel as if I’ve achieved something important.
I’ll set a good example for DD.
I’ll help my whole family be more healthy.
DH will be proud of me.
I’ll be proud of myself.

I was a bit shocked at myself initially as lots of the reasons are to do with how I look, and I don’t like to think I’m that vain, but you know what, I actuallyamquite vain! Plus the looks are important because I want DD to only ever have a normal, healthy example in me. Some of the reasons make me a bit sad, as I didn’t really realise that my confidence and sense of achievement are affected so much by how I look. I like to think of myself as a pretty ballsy, outspoken, sensible sort of person but I spend more time than I’d like to admit feeling quite crap about myself, and then projecting that onto other people and assuming they think I look crap too. (Which they may or may not do I suppose.) I have friends of all shapes and sizes and tend to think they’re all gorgeous but I am far more harsh on myself. I’m hoping that as I gain confidence in my ability to maintain a healthy weight I’ll also gain confidence in myself in general.

I’ve read stuff about CBT before and thought it was all pretty obvious, but I’m really going to work hard and do all the exercises the book asks of me, and take off my cynical hat. I think you have to be pretty honest with yourself in order for any kind of therapy like this to work, whether it’s on the psychiatrist’s couch or just on your own couch with a book, and in the past I’ve not really been at a stage where I wanted to be totally honest or insightful. I’ll update as I go through, and of course I’m carrying on with WW alongside it.

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